Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
