Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Less talking, more tequila
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
