New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
