i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
