i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
