is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
