I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
