So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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