'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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