am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
