can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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