my soul wont recognize me after tonight
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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