I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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