You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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