It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
