last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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