Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
