Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
