She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I deserve this hangover.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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