is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize
