Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
