Your mouth is God's brothel.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
