Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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