I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
