I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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