I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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