I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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