He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
