she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
