I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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