I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have already put on my inside pants.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
