I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
