They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
