Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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