just tell him i said nine months
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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