Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
