Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
