I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
