Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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