he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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