Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we made out on top of his cat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
