You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize