And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
