Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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