You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
