Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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