I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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