dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
