O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
