Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
