Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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