Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
