I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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