I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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