Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
