yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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