then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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