Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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