Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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