I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
