Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
