I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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