Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
