11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
