i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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