You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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